I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
