I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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