: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
