my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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