like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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