u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
