We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
