I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
