spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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