1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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