Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
