I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
