i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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