I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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