she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
