O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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