He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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