I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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