non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
