If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
