that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
how drunk are you?
Several
i believe in u and ur pee
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
