I wish my penis had an off switch
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
