Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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