i just wanna soil my oats bro
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
