i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
