I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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