Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
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I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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