True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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