I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize