Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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