I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
