i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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