watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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