Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
