The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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