Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
