everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize