I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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