I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
