absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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