you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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