i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
