I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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