fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
