Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
