did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He better not be in your backpack
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
