i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
