The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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