My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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