the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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