oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
