I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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