so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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