So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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