I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
