How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
