I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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