doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
