PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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