whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
