My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
