Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
