i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize