You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
